considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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