Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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