Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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