Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
