Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
my liver is dry heaving
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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