i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
