Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
