Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Help. Why am I so naked?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
