I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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