dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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