so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
