I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
