I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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