Don't you send me to vm
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
