i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
