please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
