Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
