Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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