omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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