VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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