I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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