one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
