Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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