Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
