This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
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