is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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