take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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