And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize