I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
