____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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