I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
