If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
do herpes really smell.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
