all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
