I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
