If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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