He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
