I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
