also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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