I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
