Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
