Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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