ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
