He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
