Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
