I feel like I'm in dance class right now
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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