what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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