i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
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GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
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I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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