i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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