i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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