Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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