I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize