I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
