I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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