i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
