there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize