peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
time to smoke my breakfast
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
