yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
