I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
