I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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