But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
