No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
